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Indeed, the student community have speculated that the demolition of the maths tower, whilst under the pretence of making way for a brand new student centre, may well be the site for a type of uber laser.

Whilst we regret to inform that budgetary constraints have only allowed the purchase of one whiteboard marker and one pencil this year, the remainder Embroidered Polo Shirts No Minimum of the budget is certainly not going into building The High Empress Ford a secret military base on which to wage war on the commercial television infidels.

5. As per norm we expect the American's to get bored of their own wars and stick their noses in.

Through grown up reporting by Manchester After Dark, we can sensationally reveal that Ford, 62, has been secretly plotting to rule over the planet.

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Rest assured that Manchester After Dark, regardless of military coups, will remain the bastion of truth and impartial journalism.

Best make sure all the TV licenses are paid up by the time the revolution comes.

Manchester After Dark

Whilst we do not suspect any malpractice in the purchase of 'a pencil 23p' or 'a whiteboard marker 50p', the budgeting costs required for 'Anna Ford's secret base to take over the world 39 billion' did raise a few eyebrows

Anna Ford's uber laser of death and destruction TM, if you will.

4. We predict sporadic conflict against the Burke resistance force near Germany but see Ford's Fred Perry Polo Black

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the dark, we have sensationally uncovered a conspiracy suggesting that Ford is responsible for diverging research funding into the construction of her very own evil genius lair.

Though she'll be batting away UN sanctions for months, it'll still be pretty funny.

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As it happens military experts are quite expensive, so we sat down with tea and biscuits and planned it out ourselves.

Rumours of Ford's scheme for rule under one broadcasting corporation have been rife ever since someone spotted a giant robot being built behind the University campus. (Right)

2. Ford's giant robot division will storm through Spain crushing all who stand in their way.3. We imagine Ford's winged monkey division to take Scandinavia by Christmas.

On that note we'd also like to congratulate High Chancellor Ford on her military successes and wish her a prosperous reign as ruler of the planet.

We shall do our utmost to preserve the integrity and unbiased nature of the British press.

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In an attempt to work out Anna Ford's next move in conquering the planet, we contacted some military experts for their opinion

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"We at the grand high university of Ford deny all allegations of attempts at world domination.

In our attempt to secure an official response on these allegations of world domination, the University of Manchester offered this statement.

Using the latest in surveillance technology and by sneaking around the bursary office in Fred Perry Black Twin Tipped Polo Shirt

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the first floor of the Refectory."

It has been revealed that Anna Ford, respected journalist and chancellor of Manchester University has been implicated in a plot to take over the world.

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So there you have it children.

giant magnifying glass making short work of their uprising.

And we're certainly not breeding flying monkeys on Fred Perry Women Shirt

Whilst this would explain what happens upstairs in the Refectory outside of exam periods, our investigations have yet to divulge any information on why Anna Ford would want to become chancellor of the world.

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We see them going round in circles near Greece for most of the conflict.

´╗┐Anna Ford in secret bid to become chancellor of the world

Indeed, documents stolen from the office, point to serious foul play in the allocation of funds intended for Project Unity.

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